Recent incidents of Cyberbullying and Bullying have once again thrusted these behaviors into national media. Seems as though every news media station these past few months have been highlighting these sad but powerful stories of cyberbullying. From NBC’s Today show, to CNN’s Anderson Coopers’ 360, everyone is asking the same question: What do we do about this trend?

The first thing we need to do is acknowledge that this is not a trend. Unfortunately cyber bullying like bullying will be here to stay. So what do we do? We need to listen to the stories and find the commonalities that are shared between the kids who were the targets of the harassment.

Pheobe Prince

In this situation we discovered a young lady in transition. Transitioning from not just one school to the next, but even more challenging, transitioning from one country to another. As we have all at some point transitioned in our life, the importance of friends and friendship is critical in the transition. As we leave the comfort and safety of our true friends, we strive to find that same comfort and safety with new friends. In this transition I can only imaging the emotional pressure Phoebe was feeling during this transition and making new friends.

Ryan Halligan

One of the first cases of cyber bullying to reach national news. Once again we find a young man in search of positive peer connections. Unfortunately, Ryan’s story was not one that happened over a short period of time. The bullying behavior Ryan experienced was an accumulation of pressure, emotions, and harassment that he lived for many years. Once social networking and the ability to communicate via the Web became mainstream, the bullying via internet for Ryan, not only increased, but now it was viewed by anyone and everyone. The viewing audience became larger. The group dynamics in this situation became a true player in the outcome of this story.

Megan Meir

Probably the most well known cyberbullying case that we have experienced. This particular situation brought to light how powerful emotions become in the cyberworld. The dynamics to this situation, although a bit different than the previous, still can fall back on the power relationships have on the emotions of young kids during adolescence. Whether or not the boyfriend that cut it off with Megan was real or not, in Megan’s mind the relationship was real. The lost of that relationship is what became the catalyst for Megan to end her life at too young of an age.

Learning from these stories: What do we do?

It is not about building up the strengths and character of the individual, it is about getting the individual connected to a peer group, so that the physical need to belong is fulfilled. Relationships in the cyberworld are a real player in the adolescent development of our kids. The question I am asking to audiences now is “has the virtual world and the real world collided and become one?” If so, then we treat cyberbullying just like we treat schoolyard bullying. Stop waiting for a software to block the behavior. Focus on building a community of kids who take care of one another! We cannot build programs that simply give a kid strategies as an individual to deal with the bullying. We have to focus on the group and building a group of kids whose purpose is for kids to take care of kids. This group needs an identity on and off campus, and there must be a process in place to get all kids connected to the group. In the situation of Phoebe Prince, the school administration could have simply got her hooked into the group, and because the group is based on Kids Taking Care of Kids, the group would have got her through her transition. Take a look at www.plusprogram.org . This program has discovered how to get kids to take care of one another. PLUS focusses on the importance of membership and belonging, it sets a purpose of kids taking care of kids, includes a rite of passage into the identity to further the commitment to the purpose, and keeps the kids engaged in communication activities so that when the next Phoebe Prince, Ryan Halligan or Megan Mier go through these tough times, they have a group they feel a connection to that they can go to for help.

In developing school based approaches to create safe schools and positive school climates the single most important factor that youth leadership programs neglect to focus in on is the importance of developing a sense of belonging to a group identity for young people.  We know that  “After transition to middle school, peers become primary sources of support and motivation to achieve while the quality of teacher-student relationships tends to decline with time” (Wentzel, 1996).  As we set a calendar each year to tackle the critical issues in youth development with great activities, assemblies, and orientations, we must first address the importance of a student body feeling included or connected to the youth leaders facilitating the activities. A major finding of 90,000 students grade 7-11 is that when students feel connected (i.e., feel close to people at school, happy to be at school, part of the school, treated fairly, feel safe) to their school that this “connectedness” is protective against every health risk behavior—alcohol use, suicidal attempts, teen pregnancy, and acts of violence towards others.  It is this “connectedness” that we must establish as a foundation of our youth leadership program. 

A youth leadership model that takes on this approach is the PLUS Program (Peer Leaders Uniting Students) model. PLUS was founded out of this necessary fundamental need to feel a sense of belonging to a group identity.  This need for a sense of belonging to a group, becomes the catalyst to engage youth in meaningful participation facilitated by the group in which they feel this sense of belonging to. The PLUS model seeks to protect, connect and educate kids in an effort to create a culture on campuses and in communities where inclusion is a reality for young people.  Steps to implementation include.

Step 1: Identify and train a team of Youth Leaders to become a branch of youth leadership on a campus known as the PLUS team.  This could be a team as small as four and as large as you want it. These leaders are handpicked by an advisor and should represent an array of the student body and have a natural leadership quality of influence over other students in their peer group.  Embedded in the PLUS identity is a mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

Step2: The PLUS team will facilitate an ongoing activity throughout a school year called a PLUS Forum. What separates PLUS from other youth leadership models is the investment into the PLUS Forum process. This process is facilitated peer to peer and incorporates a sequential set of activities, which gather data and serve as a rite of passage into the group identity (PLUS).  This forum process is the catalyst to create ownership and commitment in the actions of the group, purpose in the message, and the meaningful participation individuals experience on an ongoing basis.  The PLUS Forum enables schools with the ability on a regular basis to assess the emotional climate and social norms of their campus through student surveys and discussions they administer during the forums.  These forums empower students with a voice to be active members in discussions that identify critical issues on campus and the overall development of a safe school environment. 

Step 3: What makes the PLUS program an effective approach to youth development is the commitment to sustaining the actions, identity and purpose of PLUS with a calendar of events.  The concept of connecting individuals to a group identity, to establish a sense of belonging will only last as long as that individual engages in actions under the identity.  As soon as an individual no longer feels a connection to the identity, we have lost the purpose PLUS.  All assemblies and activities that focus on critical issues like bullying, youth violence, and building school climate are organized under the context of the PLUS identity and the mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

A positive school climate is a result of youth leadership programs making campuses personal and not impersonal. When developing the PLUS model the question was asked, “What would happen with racism, gangs, bullying, fear and violence, if we all felt a sense of belonging and identity to the same team?” When an individual feels a healthy sense of belonging in their environment, it positively impacts their motivation, success, health and happiness.              

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/11/11/o.too.much.communication/index.html#cnnSTCText

Research shows that individuals who are being cyberbullied, are so by someone they know and consider a “Friend”. Are they really a friend though? Because of technology advancements like social networking sites and smart phones kids can access kids 24/7 and data is coming back that shows this next generation is reporting to be more social than any generation before.  Are they more social or are they just online more?   They are building real relations around the clock with virtual people they have never met in person and they consider them to be “friends”. The article references the MySpace case two years ago where the young girl took her own life over a break up with a Virtual Boyfriend, who she never met in real life. Whether or not they never met, her emotions were as though they did. Social Networking sites have blurred the need for real Relations and building emotional trust between real friends. Do you think this next generation will define friendship much different than previous generations?  How might parents, schools, and community respond to the emerging trend of virtual friendships?

If we want to know what is going on in the cyberworld with our kids,

we need to get into the cyberworld!

A new frontier has developed and for many parents it is foreign to us.  This new frontier is the Cyberworld.  This world offers our kids some pretty amazing things that can help foster their growth as an individual and provide information that accelerates their educational learning opportunities.  Developed as an educator’s tool for sharing, the internet and cyberworld has quickly taken on a dark side.  To understand the risk factors associated with this dark side, parents must get into the cyberworld immediately. 

For some parents, navigating in the cyberworld is an everyday occurrence and something that comes naturally.  For a much larger population, the cyberworld can be intimidating and an environment parents hesitate to frequent.  Bottom line though, is that our kids are there, so we must be there too. 

The following will help parents get into the cyberworld with their kids. By no means are these tips universal and work for every situation.  We need to understand that the dark side of the internet and the actions in the cyberworld is a human behavior, and working with a human behavior, nothing is universal.  Each family is different and each family needs to take the time to discover what works for your situation and your family.

1.                  Centralize the computer –Put the online accessibility of the computer in a room that is frequented by parents constantly.  Make the computer screen be viewable.

2.                  Consistent Communication – Probably the most important strategy we can resource to as parents is simply establishing consistent communication with our kids who are going online.  Establish proactive communication with your kids that focuses on their online etiquette and behavior.  This channel of consistent communication will not only develop trust, but will also serve as a lifeline for our kids when they experience a threatening situation in the cyberworld. 

3.                  Online Experience and Knowledge – Parents must become tech savvy and experienced with online applications.  It is critical that parents spend time navigating through the internet on their own and learning the capabilities of the computer.  Sign up for classes which keep up with the currents trends and changing technology.  The more knowledge a parent can develop about the internet and risk factors associated with it, the better equipped parents will be to secure the safety of children while online.

4.                  Blogging, Chatrooms and Social Networking Sites – Along the same lines as Online Experience and Knowledge discussed in #3, parents need to develop an understanding of how Blogging, Chatrooms, and Social Networking sites operate.  Create a user identity and spend time in chatrooms which your kids might frequent.  What are the discussions like?  Are they appropriate? When MySpace and other social networking sites are used with responsibility, they are a tremendous tool for kids to connect with one another and stay in contact.  Unfortunately it is when these social networking sites are abused do they turn into a risk factor for our kids.  Spend some time in the social networking sites and discover the safety features each one has to offer.

5.                  Be There: Establish an Emergency Communication System – Assure rapid communication with your child while they are online.  Parents can not spend every minute of the day next to their child while online.  Software is available to help your kids report and document these situations.  CyberBully Alert allows parents to be notified by their child and parents will have a saved screen shot to use for documentation.

In Broward County, Florida on Wednesday, November 26, 2008 a 19-year-old male took his own life. While this tragic event unfortunately occurs time and again, the particular circumstances surrounding this suicide are worsened by the man broadcasting his death on the internet and the internet bullying that ensued.

The man, identified as Abraham K. Biggs, announced his intention to kill himself in an online forum. One report indicated, he went on a www.bodybuilding.com forum, where he was reportedly a member under the pseudonym “CandyJunkie,” and he posted the amount of drugs he was going to take in order to overdose with a link to a live video. Biggs also posted a suicide note online.

Posting a suicide note and detailing how he was going to kill himself was not the end of this calamity. In addition to the online forum postings, Biggs had streamed a live video of himself during and after his suicide. The broadcast showed his consumption of several pills. Then, as hundreds of web surfers watched the live feed, Biggs took his last breath and lay lifeless on his bed. Several hours passed before website viewers and those that participated in the online bullying became alarmed. The live video had been streaming for hours while Biggs’ motionless, lifeless body lay on his bed. Finally, someone called the police. According to one report the website’s moderator informed the authorities of the video. Other reports say viewers of the broadcast eventually called police. With the live video still streaming, police broke down the door, found the lifeless body, and turned off the webcam. It had been 12 hours since Biggs began blogging about his intended suicide. According to one report, at the time the police entered Biggs’ bedroom about 1,500 people were viewing the video.

The website Biggs chose for his final moments was Justin.tv. Michael Seibel, CEO of Justin.tv said “We regret that this has occurred and respect the privacy of the broadcaster and his family during this time.” Seibel continued, “We have policies in place to discourage the distribution of distressing content and our community monitors the site accordingly. This content was flagged by our community, reviewed and removed according to our terms of service.” Since the incident, the disturbing video feed has been taken down; however, clips of the unfortunate event still remain. Internet surfers have posted clips of the video and copies of Biggs’ suicide note all over the internet.

A very disturbing circumstance of the young man’s death is that in response to Biggs’ forum posts and the broadcast of his live video, viewers and members of the online forum taunted Biggs, bullying him over the internet and encouraging him to commit suicide. “You want to kill yourself?” “Do it, do the world a favor and stop wasting our time with your mindless self-pity.” Several individuals continued the internet harassment of Biggs all throughout his video as well as bullying him on the internet after his death, believing it was all a practical joke. After learning of the live broadcast of his son’s suicide, Biggs’ father, Abraham Biggs, Sr., said he was upset that Justin.tv streamed the video. Biggs Sr. stated, “There seems to be a lack of control as to what people put out on the Internet . . . There’s a lot of garbage out there that should not be, and unfortunately this was allowed to happen.” Because the troubled young man had supposedly threatened to commit suicide many times before, the webcast’s viewers and internet bullies believed Biggs was not serious about his intentions. They taunted him, insulted him, and continuously bullied him. The online bullying and internet harassment lasted for hours. Was it this internet bullying that finally made him commit the fatal act?

Unfortunately, advancements in technology have resulted in an epidemic of worldwide bullying on the internet. For example, in 2007, a British man hanged himself live on a webcam with hundreds viewing the broadcast in a chatroom. Supposedly, the depressed man ventured into a chatroom pondering suicide and online bullying ensued. The internet harassment consisted of chatroom members reportedly telling the man, among other things, to “F**king do it. Get on with it.” Since 2001, according to a charity that works to prevent suicide, there have been at least 17 deaths in Britain involving websites and online bullying. Internet harassment is an ongoing, growing problem. For the safety of troubled persons and for online child safety, something should be done to monitor disturbing internet bullying sites.

“Cyber bullying” is a new term that seems to be a household phrase that is infiltrating many homes with teenagers and young children. While it is important to discuss preventative ways to deter these actions, it’s also important to understand why there has been such an extensive rise of cyber bullying.

Traditional bullying occurs in the classroom or on school grounds, but technologically savvy kids are taking their unsettling words to the Internet through email, MySpace, Facebook, other websites and text and instant messages. Cyber bullies are posting disturbing messages, videos and images of their contacts onto the web where millions of other people can see. Cyber bullies can also remain anonymous on websites and through email messages so the increase of bullies on the web is also rising.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noticed a rise in cyber bullying. In 2000, only nine percent of kids ages 10 to 17 experienced this type of bullying. The percentage has now reached 50 percent for 2008. Another study shows that 64 percent of the teens that said they were the victim of cyber bullying were never bullied at school. There are a few reasons why this rate has increased so much. This age bracket is becoming more technologically savvy as a result of entertainment and their other interests going online. Schools are also teaching students how to use the Internet to acquire help with projects and homework. Social media groups also let these kids create a profile about themselves and easy ways to communicate with others.

i-SAFE Inc., a worldwide leader in Internet safety education, conducted a study to prove the rise of cyber bullying. Their conclusions showed that: 53 percent of the 1500 student surveyed have admitted to saying something mean or hurtful to a person through the Internet; 42 percent of those surveyed have experienced bullying online; and 58 percent of those surveyed have had someone say something hurtful to them online. Even more alarming, 58 percent never told their parents about their experienced with being bullied online.

While it may seem like a simple solution to prevent cyber bullying is to take away all computer privileges, many of today’s kids use these websites and Internet tools as another way of socializing. MySpace cyber bullying is a popular mode because bullies can post hateful information on another person’s profile page or on their own page, or a bully can create a separate profile just about bullying this particular person. Facebook cyber bullying is similar to MySpace cyber bullying because they can create fake identities or create a page with the sole purpose of bullying another person. Twitter is another social media network that is adding to the rise of cyber bullying. A user can “follow” another person to post status updates or send mean messages. Users can also post links to websites about cyber bulling as “helpful” how-to guides.

In extreme cases, kids are learning how to create their own websites, free of charge, to target a while site about bullying individuals. The person gains acceptance with their group of friends because they are humiliating the other person for everyone to see. Then, the bully will use MySpace, Facebook or Twitter to spread the word about additions to their hateful website.

Access to the Internet is also increasing. Local small businesses are offering free wireless Internet access for their customers as a marketing tool to increase their sales. Cell phones offer quick and simple access to the Internet. The Internet is offered in school libraries and classrooms for school work and educational tools. If your child is not allowed on the web while they are at home, of course they are going to find alternative ways to stay connected.

Some social media websites require the child’s email address and password to gain access into their account. This limits the ability for a parent to monitor their navigation through certain sites and some parents just aren’t involved enough to be concerned with what is going on over the internet. Without an open level of communication between child and parent, there may be another life your child is leading without you even knowing.

The rise of cyber bullying is definitely increasing with the current times so it is important to discuss this with your children to prevent any serious injury or conflicts.

Bullying is nothing new to school or youth culture. The past several decades in the United States have seen a remarkably consistent pattern, with bullying beginning in the elementary school years, peaking in frequency and intensity during junior high school (grades six through eight) and leveling off (but continuing) through high school.

But the rise of the Internet as a mean of regular communication between our children has opened up new doors for those who wish to bully other children. Chat rooms, MySpace, email, instant messaging and other online tools have all helped create the cyber bullying epidemic.

Statistics about cyberbullying

• According to the National Crime Prevention Center, over 40% of all teenagers with Internet access have reported being bullied online during the past year.
• Girls are more likely than boys to be the target of cyberbullying. Also, there is a direct correlation to the amount of time girls spend online and the likelihood that they will be bullied.
• The National Crime Prevention Center National Crime Prevention Center study found that only 10% of those kids who were bullied told their parents about the incident, and that a mere 18% of the cases were reported to a local or national law enforcement agency.
• Only 15% of parents are “in the know” about their kids’ social networking habits, and how these behaviors can lead to cyberbullying.
• Currently, the most common virtual locations for cyberbullying are chat rooms, social networking web sites, email and instant message systems.
• Of the technologies above, chat rooms are currently where the most cyberbullying occurs, with various sources finding anywhere between 45% - 57% of all incidents originating there.
• Social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace are growing fast, and so are the cyberbullying incidents originating from them. Experts believe that they will soon overtake chat rooms as the top source of cyberbullying problems worldwide.
• According to a recent study, 58% of 4th through 8th graders reported having mean or cruel things said to them online. 53% said that they have said mean or hurtful things to others while online. 42% of those studied said that they had been “bullied online”, but almost 60% have never told their parents about the incident.
• Cell phone cameras and digital cameras are a growing problem in the cyberbullying world. A recent survey found that 10% of 770 young people surveyed were made to feel “threatened, embarrassed or uncomfortable” by a photo taken of them using a cell-phone camera.
• According to extensive research on middle school age students and teenagers online, the fastest growing problems within the world of cyberbullying are:
  • Stealing an individual’s name and password to a social networking site, then using their profile to post rumors, gossip or other damaging information.
  • Altering photographs using PhotoShop or other photo editing software in order to humiliate the individual.
  • Recording conversations without the individual’s knowledge or consent, then posting the call online.
  • Creating confrontational and mean-spirited online polls about the individual and posting them on different web sites.
  • Using web sites and blogs to post hurtful, embarrassing information about another individual.