Recent incidents of Cyberbullying and Bullying have once again thrusted these behaviors into national media. Seems as though every news media station these past few months have been highlighting these sad but powerful stories of cyberbullying. From NBC’s Today show, to CNN’s Anderson Coopers’ 360, everyone is asking the same question: What do we do about this trend?

The first thing we need to do is acknowledge that this is not a trend. Unfortunately cyber bullying like bullying will be here to stay. So what do we do? We need to listen to the stories and find the commonalities that are shared between the kids who were the targets of the harassment.

Pheobe Prince

In this situation we discovered a young lady in transition. Transitioning from not just one school to the next, but even more challenging, transitioning from one country to another. As we have all at some point transitioned in our life, the importance of friends and friendship is critical in the transition. As we leave the comfort and safety of our true friends, we strive to find that same comfort and safety with new friends. In this transition I can only imaging the emotional pressure Phoebe was feeling during this transition and making new friends.

Ryan Halligan

One of the first cases of cyber bullying to reach national news. Once again we find a young man in search of positive peer connections. Unfortunately, Ryan’s story was not one that happened over a short period of time. The bullying behavior Ryan experienced was an accumulation of pressure, emotions, and harassment that he lived for many years. Once social networking and the ability to communicate via the Web became mainstream, the bullying via internet for Ryan, not only increased, but now it was viewed by anyone and everyone. The viewing audience became larger. The group dynamics in this situation became a true player in the outcome of this story.

Megan Meir

Probably the most well known cyberbullying case that we have experienced. This particular situation brought to light how powerful emotions become in the cyberworld. The dynamics to this situation, although a bit different than the previous, still can fall back on the power relationships have on the emotions of young kids during adolescence. Whether or not the boyfriend that cut it off with Megan was real or not, in Megan’s mind the relationship was real. The lost of that relationship is what became the catalyst for Megan to end her life at too young of an age.

Learning from these stories: What do we do?

It is not about building up the strengths and character of the individual, it is about getting the individual connected to a peer group, so that the physical need to belong is fulfilled. Relationships in the cyberworld are a real player in the adolescent development of our kids. The question I am asking to audiences now is “has the virtual world and the real world collided and become one?” If so, then we treat cyberbullying just like we treat schoolyard bullying. Stop waiting for a software to block the behavior. Focus on building a community of kids who take care of one another! We cannot build programs that simply give a kid strategies as an individual to deal with the bullying. We have to focus on the group and building a group of kids whose purpose is for kids to take care of kids. This group needs an identity on and off campus, and there must be a process in place to get all kids connected to the group. In the situation of Phoebe Prince, the school administration could have simply got her hooked into the group, and because the group is based on Kids Taking Care of Kids, the group would have got her through her transition. Take a look at www.plusprogram.org . This program has discovered how to get kids to take care of one another. PLUS focusses on the importance of membership and belonging, it sets a purpose of kids taking care of kids, includes a rite of passage into the identity to further the commitment to the purpose, and keeps the kids engaged in communication activities so that when the next Phoebe Prince, Ryan Halligan or Megan Mier go through these tough times, they have a group they feel a connection to that they can go to for help.

A youth leadership model that takes on this approach is the PLUS Program (Peer Leaders Uniting Students) model. PLUS was founded out of this necessary fundamental need to feel a sense of belonging to a group identity.  This need for a sense of belonging to a group, becomes the catalyst to engage youth in meaningful participation facilitated by the group in which they feel this sense of belonging to. The PLUS model seeks to protect, connect and educate kids in an effort to create a culture on campuses and in communities where inclusion is a reality for young people.  Steps to implementation include.

Step 1: Identify and train a team of Youth Leaders to become a branch of youth leadership on a campus known as the PLUS team.  This could be a team as small as four and as large as you want it. These leaders are handpicked by an advisor and should represent an array of the student body and have a natural leadership quality of influence over other students in their peer group.  Embedded in the PLUS identity is a mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

Step2: The PLUS team will facilitate an ongoing activity throughout a school year called a PLUS Forum. What separates PLUS from other youth leadership models is the investment into the PLUS Forum process. This process is facilitated peer to peer and incorporates a sequential set of activities, which gather data and serve as a rite of passage into the group identity (PLUS).  This forum process is the catalyst to create ownership and commitment in the actions of the group, purpose in the message, and the meaningful participation individuals experience on an ongoing basis.  The PLUS Forum enables schools with the ability on a regular basis to assess the emotional climate and social norms of their campus through student surveys and discussions they administer during the forums.  These forums empower students with a voice to be active members in discussions that identify critical issues on campus and the overall development of a safe school environment. 

Step 3: What makes the PLUS program an effective approach to youth development is the commitment to sustaining the actions, identity and purpose of PLUS with a calendar of events.  The concept of connecting individuals to a group identity, to establish a sense of belonging will only last as long as that individual engages in actions under the identity.  As soon as an individual no longer feels a connection to the identity, we have lost the purpose PLUS.  All assemblies and activities that focus on critical issues like bullying, youth violence, and building school climate are organized under the context of the PLUS identity and the mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

A positive school climate is a result of youth leadership programs making campuses personal and not impersonal. When developing the PLUS model the question was asked, “What would happen with racism, gangs, bullying, fear and violence, if we all felt a sense of belonging and identity to the same team?” When an individual feels a healthy sense of belonging in their environment, it positively impacts their motivation, success, health and happiness.              

Research shows that individuals who are being cyberbullied, are so by someone they know and consider a “Friend”. Are they really a friend though? Because of technology advancements like social networking sites and smart phones kids can access kids 24/7 and data is coming back that shows this next generation is reporting to be more social than any generation before.  Are they more social or are they just online more?   They are building real relations around the clock with virtual people they have never met in person and they consider them to be “friends”. The article references the MySpace case two years ago where the young girl took her own life over a break up with a Virtual Boyfriend, who she never met in real life. Whether or not they never met, her emotions were as though they did. Social Networking sites have blurred the need for real Relations and building emotional trust between real friends. Do you think this next generation will define friendship much different than previous generations?  How might parents, schools, and community respond to the emerging trend of virtual friendships?

Recent studies have shown that if parents limit the type of video games (non-violent) and amount of playing time (30 minutes max per day), children are less likely to display aggressive behaviors.

The Bad

According to the recent Brain Health report by Dr. Amen, a leader in brain SPECT Imaging (SPECT is an acronym for Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography) that measures blood flow and activity patterns in the brain, video games work in the same area of the brain as cocaine and methamphetamine. Video games increase the amount of dopamine released in the brain and for those of you who don’t know, dopamine is the chemical messenger for pleasure and plays a major role in addiction. Now, is there any wonder why kids love video games? The amount of dopamine released while playing video games is so substantial that it depletes the brains reserves leaving little if any dopamine to be released during everyday activities and relationships that would normally make them feel happy. Subsequently they are left feeling nothing at all.

The Ugly

Researchers at the Indiana University School of Medicine say that brain scans of kids who played a violent video game showed an increase in emotional arousal and a corresponding decrease of activity in brain areas involved in self-control, inhibition, and attention. Another study found that playing violent video games is related to having more aggressive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

If we want to know what is going on in the cyberworld with our kids,

we need to get into the cyberworld!

A new frontier has developed and for many parents it is foreign to us.  This new frontier is the Cyberworld.  This world offers our kids some pretty amazing things that can help foster their growth as an individual and provide information that accelerates their educational learning opportunities.  Developed as an educator’s tool for sharing, the internet and cyberworld has quickly taken on a dark side.  To understand the risk factors associated with this dark side, parents must get into the cyberworld immediately. 

For some parents, navigating in the cyberworld is an everyday occurrence and something that comes naturally.  For a much larger population, the cyberworld can be intimidating and an environment parents hesitate to frequent.  Bottom line though, is that our kids are there, so we must be there too. 

The following will help parents get into the cyberworld with their kids. By no means are these tips universal and work for every situation.  We need to understand that the dark side of the internet and the actions in the cyberworld is a human behavior, and working with a human behavior, nothing is universal.  Each family is different and each family needs to take the time to discover what works for your situation and your family.

1.                  Centralize the computer –Put the online accessibility of the computer in a room that is frequented by parents constantly.  Make the computer screen be viewable.

2.                  Consistent Communication – Probably the most important strategy we can resource to as parents is simply establishing consistent communication with our kids who are going online.  Establish proactive communication with your kids that focuses on their online etiquette and behavior.  This channel of consistent communication will not only develop trust, but will also serve as a lifeline for our kids when they experience a threatening situation in the cyberworld. 

3.                  Online Experience and Knowledge – Parents must become tech savvy and experienced with online applications.  It is critical that parents spend time navigating through the internet on their own and learning the capabilities of the computer.  Sign up for classes which keep up with the currents trends and changing technology.  The more knowledge a parent can develop about the internet and risk factors associated with it, the better equipped parents will be to secure the safety of children while online.

4.                  Blogging, Chatrooms and Social Networking Sites – Along the same lines as Online Experience and Knowledge discussed in #3, parents need to develop an understanding of how Blogging, Chatrooms, and Social Networking sites operate.  Create a user identity and spend time in chatrooms which your kids might frequent.  What are the discussions like?  Are they appropriate? When MySpace and other social networking sites are used with responsibility, they are a tremendous tool for kids to connect with one another and stay in contact.  Unfortunately it is when these social networking sites are abused do they turn into a risk factor for our kids.  Spend some time in the social networking sites and discover the safety features each one has to offer.

5.                  Be There: Establish an Emergency Communication System – Assure rapid communication with your child while they are online.  Parents can not spend every minute of the day next to their child while online.  Software is available to help your kids report and document these situations.  CyberBully Alert allows parents to be notified by their child and parents will have a saved screen shot to use for documentation.

The man, identified as Abraham K. Biggs, announced his intention to kill himself in an online forum. One report indicated, he went on a www.bodybuilding.com forum, where he was reportedly a member under the pseudonym “CandyJunkie,” and he posted the amount of drugs he was going to take in order to overdose with a link to a live video. Biggs also posted a suicide note online.

Posting a suicide note and detailing how he was going to kill himself was not the end of this calamity. In addition to the online forum postings, Biggs had streamed a live video of himself during and after his suicide. The broadcast showed his consumption of several pills. Then, as hundreds of web surfers watched the live feed, Biggs took his last breath and lay lifeless on his bed. Several hours passed before website viewers and those that participated in the online bullying became alarmed. The live video had been streaming for hours while Biggs’ motionless, lifeless body lay on his bed. Finally, someone called the police. According to one report the website’s moderator informed the authorities of the video. Other reports say viewers of the broadcast eventually called police. With the live video still streaming, police broke down the door, found the lifeless body, and turned off the webcam. It had been 12 hours since Biggs began blogging about his intended suicide. According to one report, at the time the police entered Biggs’ bedroom about 1,500 people were viewing the video.

The website Biggs chose for his final moments was Justin.tv. Michael Seibel, CEO of Justin.tv said “We regret that this has occurred and respect the privacy of the broadcaster and his family during this time.” Seibel continued, “We have policies in place to discourage the distribution of distressing content and our community monitors the site accordingly. This content was flagged by our community, reviewed and removed according to our terms of service.” Since the incident, the disturbing video feed has been taken down; however, clips of the unfortunate event still remain. Internet surfers have posted clips of the video and copies of Biggs’ suicide note all over the internet.

A very disturbing circumstance of the young man’s death is that in response to Biggs’ forum posts and the broadcast of his live video, viewers and members of the online forum taunted Biggs, bullying him over the internet and encouraging him to commit suicide. “You want to kill yourself?” “Do it, do the world a favor and stop wasting our time with your mindless self-pity.” Several individuals continued the internet harassment of Biggs all throughout his video as well as bullying him on the internet after his death, believing it was all a practical joke. After learning of the live broadcast of his son’s suicide, Biggs’ father, Abraham Biggs, Sr., said he was upset that Justin.tv streamed the video. Biggs Sr. stated, “There seems to be a lack of control as to what people put out on the Internet . . . There’s a lot of garbage out there that should not be, and unfortunately this was allowed to happen.” Because the troubled young man had supposedly threatened to commit suicide many times before, the webcast’s viewers and internet bullies believed Biggs was not serious about his intentions. They taunted him, insulted him, and continuously bullied him. The online bullying and internet harassment lasted for hours. Was it this internet bullying that finally made him commit the fatal act?

Unfortunately, advancements in technology have resulted in an epidemic of worldwide bullying on the internet. For example, in 2007, a British man hanged himself live on a webcam with hundreds viewing the broadcast in a chatroom. Supposedly, the depressed man ventured into a chatroom pondering suicide and online bullying ensued. The internet harassment consisted of chatroom members reportedly telling the man, among other things, to “F**king do it. Get on with it.” Since 2001, according to a charity that works to prevent suicide, there have been at least 17 deaths in Britain involving websites and online bullying. Internet harassment is an ongoing, growing problem. For the safety of troubled persons and for online child safety, something should be done to monitor disturbing internet bullying sites.

Principals, teachers and other school officials are well aware of the ongoing of cyber bullying and traditional bullying on the playground, although some of these adults take bullying with a grain of salt and don’t do too much to prevent the events. A study conducted by the National Associate of School Psychologists (NASP) found that nearly 25 percent of the polled teachers believe that it is not necessary to intervene in bullying and other forms of disruptive behavior.

Here are some ways that schools can help to eliminate cyber bullying:

• See cyber bullying as a problem: Students know that cyber bullying can be painful mentally, but oftentimes don’t realize that it is wrong and preventable, and therefore don’t tell school authorities about specific cases. Raise awareness about the rise in cyber bullying, effects of cyber bullying, and what kids should do if they see it happening.
• Survey the extent of the problem: Make the time to conduct school wide surveys to students and staff about the knowledge and attitudes about cyber bullying. Find out if there are specific places or times when cyber bullying occurs and use this information as a tool to prevent other issues.
• Create a specialized system to follow: Have your school create a value system based on respect for others, personal responsibility and caring to make it clear what is expected from each student and what consequences they can face if they don’t follow the system. Make sure that each teacher and school official is aware of the system and it is also sent to parents of the children so they are aware of the new program. Provide an avenue for them to voice any comments or concerns.
• Bring awareness via the classroom: Set time aside for specialized discussion, lesson plans and critical thinking skills in the classroom to focus on early intervention and risks of cyber bullying.
• Build a team for cyber bullying prevention: If your budget allows, create a team of student activists that will spread awareness of the rise of cyber bullying and prevention. Students can come together to talk about prior experiences, or have fundraising activities to raise awareness. Or, have former victims speak at your school to bring a more personable relation to the idea of cyber bullying.
• Provide interventions and mediation: If cyber bullying cases are apparent on your campus, find a way to provide interventions between the cyber bullies and the victim with a counselor or mediator. Give each child a chance to say what they feel and discuss why cyber bullying is unhealthy.
• Have medical professionals on campus: Principals should work to hire qualified school psychologists or other trained mental health professionals to assist any students and help out with creating a value system regarding cyber bullying.
• Work with other schools in the district: Contact neighboring schools about raising awareness on the rise of cyber bullying. Also, reinstate the ideas of the negative effects of cyber bullying by offering discussion and training tools as students move through grade levels and different schools.
• Enforce consequences: Consequences for bullying and cyber bullying should be known and understood by students. By enforcing these consequences, students will understand the reality of cyber bullying and force them to stop their behaviors.
• Define the difference between reporting useful information and ratting out a friend: Some students will be weary of reporting bad behavior because they may feel like they are “tattling” on a friend. Ensure confidentiality between the student and the school authority and let students know they can trust adults.

Train all school officials: Not only teachers, but also sport coaches, after school supervisors and even bus drivers should be aware of bullying or listen out for cyber bullying events. They should know how to respond to these triggers and how to reinforce positive problem solving.

Traditional bullying occurs in the classroom or on school grounds, but technologically savvy kids are taking their unsettling words to the Internet through email, MySpace, Facebook, other websites and text and instant messages. Cyber bullies are posting disturbing messages, videos and images of their contacts onto the web where millions of other people can see. Cyber bullies can also remain anonymous on websites and through email messages so the increase of bullies on the web is also rising.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noticed a rise in cyber bullying. In 2000, only nine percent of kids ages 10 to 17 experienced this type of bullying. The percentage has now reached 50 percent for 2008. Another study shows that 64 percent of the teens that said they were the victim of cyber bullying were never bullied at school. There are a few reasons why this rate has increased so much. This age bracket is becoming more technologically savvy as a result of entertainment and their other interests going online. Schools are also teaching students how to use the Internet to acquire help with projects and homework. Social media groups also let these kids create a profile about themselves and easy ways to communicate with others.

i-SAFE Inc., a worldwide leader in Internet safety education, conducted a study to prove the rise of cyber bullying. Their conclusions showed that: 53 percent of the 1500 student surveyed have admitted to saying something mean or hurtful to a person through the Internet; 42 percent of those surveyed have experienced bullying online; and 58 percent of those surveyed have had someone say something hurtful to them online. Even more alarming, 58 percent never told their parents about their experienced with being bullied online.

While it may seem like a simple solution to prevent cyber bullying is to take away all computer privileges, many of today’s kids use these websites and Internet tools as another way of socializing. MySpace cyber bullying is a popular mode because bullies can post hateful information on another person’s profile page or on their own page, or a bully can create a separate profile just about bullying this particular person. Facebook cyber bullying is similar to MySpace cyber bullying because they can create fake identities or create a page with the sole purpose of bullying another person. Twitter is another social media network that is adding to the rise of cyber bullying. A user can “follow” another person to post status updates or send mean messages. Users can also post links to websites about cyber bulling as “helpful” how-to guides.

In extreme cases, kids are learning how to create their own websites, free of charge, to target a while site about bullying individuals. The person gains acceptance with their group of friends because they are humiliating the other person for everyone to see. Then, the bully will use MySpace, Facebook or Twitter to spread the word about additions to their hateful website.

Access to the Internet is also increasing. Local small businesses are offering free wireless Internet access for their customers as a marketing tool to increase their sales. Cell phones offer quick and simple access to the Internet. The Internet is offered in school libraries and classrooms for school work and educational tools. If your child is not allowed on the web while they are at home, of course they are going to find alternative ways to stay connected.

Some social media websites require the child’s email address and password to gain access into their account. This limits the ability for a parent to monitor their navigation through certain sites and some parents just aren’t involved enough to be concerned with what is going on over the internet. Without an open level of communication between child and parent, there may be another life your child is leading without you even knowing.

The rise of cyber bullying is definitely increasing with the current times so it is important to discuss this with your children to prevent any serious injury or conflicts.

Children and teenagers are becoming more technologically savvy and are looking to the Internet and their cell phones for entertainment, and to social networks to meet new people who share the same interests as them. It was only a matter of time before bullying made its way to the Internet, especially through modes like MySpace and Facebook. Cyber bullies have been making news lately with the recent deaths of children across the nation who have perished because of online bullying campaigns. Megan Meier is one of the more noted of these cases.

Some examples of cyber bullying include sending threatening emails, text messages or comments to another person; tricking someone into revealing private or embarrassing information and sending it to others; breaking into someone’s email or social media account and sending false messages to others while posing as this person; and creating web pages to make fun of another person.

Even though the bullying doesn’t take place on a one-on-one basis, MySpace cyber bullying and other forms of cyber bullying still show the same effects. Rather than just being bullied while in the classroom or play ground, children can be the target of cyber bullying 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Some of the more general effects of cyber bullying include poor performance at school, depression and low self-esteem. Because cyber bullying can take place outside of the classroom and at a more frequent rate, the child may experience more extreme cases of these effects. Consider these factors if you suspect that your child is being bullied online:

• You child may feel like there is no escape from cyber bullying. It seems easy enough to close these social media accounts and simply turn off of the computer. However, for some kids avoiding these websites or instant messages may seclude them from one of the most important places they socialize.
• Your child may be at home when they experience cyber bullying, which can lead to a sense of endangerment within the confines of their own room or house.
• Cyber bullies are more likely to say harsher words online or by text message because they don’t have to say it to the other person’s face or see their reaction.
• Your child may feel like they can’t be secure within their own surrounding because some cyber bullies never reveal their identity. The anonymity of cyber bullying can add to their feeling of being unsafe.

A recent survey conducted by i-SAFE America concluded that 58 percent of children who have experienced cyber bullying never told an adult or their parent. There are a few preventative measures that you and your child can take to avert any negative experiences while your child uses the Internet:

• Never give out private information about the child, passwords, school, family or friends. This information is an easy target for an anonymous cyber bully.
• Never exchange pictures with people you meet on the Internet.
• Delete any messages from people you don’t know.
• Because millions of people have access to what is written online, be careful what you say and what type of information you send out.
• Consider setting your child’s social media account to private so people that they don’t know can’t see their pictures or any of the information posted to the site.

Bullying has been around for many generations and some people would say that it is just a part of growing up. If your child experiences physical threats, report it to the owners of the websites or local officials and keep a log of the bullying. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” However in today’s technologically advanced age, the death of a child is never worth it.

MySpace Cyber Bullying

MySpace is the number one social networking site for high school age students and younger. How popular is MySpace? Rupert Murdoch bought the company $580 millions dollars just a few short years ago and now the company’s value is several times that already huge figure.

Most kids use MySpace to set up profiles and share information about themselves, their favorite music, Hollywood stars and other interests with kids in their school or neighborhood. For most, MySpace represents a fun form of self-expression that utilizes the latest online technology.

But a small percentage of kids use MySpace for cyber bullying. This can be accomplished in several different ways, including:

• Posting hateful information on another person’s MySpace page.
• Posting hateful information about another person on your own MySpace page
• Creating a new MySpace profile for the sole purpose of bullying another individual.

However it is executed, cyber bullying on MySpace remains a significant problem. While many chalk it up to “kids being kids”, more and more are starting to realize that a nasty post on someone’s MySpace page is as bad or worse that a taunt yelled across the schoolyard.

Facebook Cyber Bullying

Facebook is similar to MySpace except that it is geared towards a slightly older audience (the music and customization functionality is a lot less robust than found on MySpace) but is still being used by cyber bullies to harass their classmates and ex-friends. The rules of engagement are similar to those found in MySpace: people will either use their own profile to harass others, or create fake identities and build profiles to harass other people or dupe them into thinking another person is interested in them (romantically or as a friend).

Twitter Cyber Bullying

One of the fastest growing social media enterprises, Twitter allows people to “follow” one another by posting regular updates about their activities. Twitter is seeing a growing number of cyber bullying incidents as more and more kids figure out how to post hateful, harassing information about their friends and deliver it “via Tweet” to as many followers of the site as they can.

Website Cyber Bullying

In the most extreme cases of cyber bullying, many kids are going to the trouble of building entire websites from scratch in order to use them to humiliate another individual. A common method for doing this is to buy a URL from godaddy.com that humiliates the target (such as www.lisaisugly.com) then fill it with unkind postings and photos (Photoshopping a person into uncompromising positions is a highly used form of cyber bullying) then spreading word about the site to others via email, social networking, etc.