In developing school based approaches to create safe schools and positive school climates the single most important factor that youth leadership programs neglect to focus in on is the importance of developing a sense of belonging to a group identity for young people.  We know that  “After transition to middle school, peers become primary sources of support and motivation to achieve while the quality of teacher-student relationships tends to decline with time” (Wentzel, 1996).  As we set a calendar each year to tackle the critical issues in youth development with great activities, assemblies, and orientations, we must first address the importance of a student body feeling included or connected to the youth leaders facilitating the activities. A major finding of 90,000 students grade 7-11 is that when students feel connected (i.e., feel close to people at school, happy to be at school, part of the school, treated fairly, feel safe) to their school that this “connectedness” is protective against every health risk behavior—alcohol use, suicidal attempts, teen pregnancy, and acts of violence towards others.  It is this “connectedness” that we must establish as a foundation of our youth leadership program. 

A youth leadership model that takes on this approach is the PLUS Program (Peer Leaders Uniting Students) model. PLUS was founded out of this necessary fundamental need to feel a sense of belonging to a group identity.  This need for a sense of belonging to a group, becomes the catalyst to engage youth in meaningful participation facilitated by the group in which they feel this sense of belonging to. The PLUS model seeks to protect, connect and educate kids in an effort to create a culture on campuses and in communities where inclusion is a reality for young people.  Steps to implementation include.

Step 1: Identify and train a team of Youth Leaders to become a branch of youth leadership on a campus known as the PLUS team.  This could be a team as small as four and as large as you want it. These leaders are handpicked by an advisor and should represent an array of the student body and have a natural leadership quality of influence over other students in their peer group.  Embedded in the PLUS identity is a mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

Step2: The PLUS team will facilitate an ongoing activity throughout a school year called a PLUS Forum. What separates PLUS from other youth leadership models is the investment into the PLUS Forum process. This process is facilitated peer to peer and incorporates a sequential set of activities, which gather data and serve as a rite of passage into the group identity (PLUS).  This forum process is the catalyst to create ownership and commitment in the actions of the group, purpose in the message, and the meaningful participation individuals experience on an ongoing basis.  The PLUS Forum enables schools with the ability on a regular basis to assess the emotional climate and social norms of their campus through student surveys and discussions they administer during the forums.  These forums empower students with a voice to be active members in discussions that identify critical issues on campus and the overall development of a safe school environment. 

Step 3: What makes the PLUS program an effective approach to youth development is the commitment to sustaining the actions, identity and purpose of PLUS with a calendar of events.  The concept of connecting individuals to a group identity, to establish a sense of belonging will only last as long as that individual engages in actions under the identity.  As soon as an individual no longer feels a connection to the identity, we have lost the purpose PLUS.  All assemblies and activities that focus on critical issues like bullying, youth violence, and building school climate are organized under the context of the PLUS identity and the mission of Kids Taking Care of Kids.

A positive school climate is a result of youth leadership programs making campuses personal and not impersonal. When developing the PLUS model the question was asked, “What would happen with racism, gangs, bullying, fear and violence, if we all felt a sense of belonging and identity to the same team?” When an individual feels a healthy sense of belonging in their environment, it positively impacts their motivation, success, health and happiness.              

Children learn from a young age how effective violence and intimidation can be from various media and entertainment outlets. Quirky cartoons portray a loveable character and his or her daily battles with a particular bully. Popular sitcoms and movies depict high school students who sing and dance to popular tunes, but also have to face intimidating bullies in and out of class. Although these characters overcome their plights, there is still a clear message that bullying is an effective way to upset another person and bring down their self-esteem.

Children and teenagers are becoming more technologically savvy and are looking to the Internet and their cell phones for entertainment, and to social networks to meet new people who share the same interests as them. It was only a matter of time before bullying made its way to the Internet, especially through modes like MySpace and Facebook. Cyber bullies have been making news lately with the recent deaths of children across the nation who have perished because of online bullying campaigns. Megan Meier is one of the more noted of these cases.

Some examples of cyber bullying include sending threatening emails, text messages or comments to another person; tricking someone into revealing private or embarrassing information and sending it to others; breaking into someone’s email or social media account and sending false messages to others while posing as this person; and creating web pages to make fun of another person.

Even though the bullying doesn’t take place on a one-on-one basis, MySpace cyber bullying and other forms of cyber bullying still show the same effects. Rather than just being bullied while in the classroom or play ground, children can be the target of cyber bullying 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Some of the more general effects of cyber bullying include poor performance at school, depression and low self-esteem. Because cyber bullying can take place outside of the classroom and at a more frequent rate, the child may experience more extreme cases of these effects. Consider these factors if you suspect that your child is being bullied online:

• You child may feel like there is no escape from cyber bullying. It seems easy enough to close these social media accounts and simply turn off of the computer. However, for some kids avoiding these websites or instant messages may seclude them from one of the most important places they socialize.
• Your child may be at home when they experience cyber bullying, which can lead to a sense of endangerment within the confines of their own room or house.
• Cyber bullies are more likely to say harsher words online or by text message because they don’t have to say it to the other person’s face or see their reaction.
• Your child may feel like they can’t be secure within their own surrounding because some cyber bullies never reveal their identity. The anonymity of cyber bullying can add to their feeling of being unsafe.

A recent survey conducted by i-SAFE America concluded that 58 percent of children who have experienced cyber bullying never told an adult or their parent. There are a few preventative measures that you and your child can take to avert any negative experiences while your child uses the Internet:

• Never give out private information about the child, passwords, school, family or friends. This information is an easy target for an anonymous cyber bully.
• Never exchange pictures with people you meet on the Internet.
• Delete any messages from people you don’t know.
• Because millions of people have access to what is written online, be careful what you say and what type of information you send out.
• Consider setting your child’s social media account to private so people that they don’t know can’t see their pictures or any of the information posted to the site.

Bullying has been around for many generations and some people would say that it is just a part of growing up. If your child experiences physical threats, report it to the owners of the websites or local officials and keep a log of the bullying. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” However in today’s technologically advanced age, the death of a child is never worth it.

Few things upset a parent more than hearing that their child has been the victim bullying. And while schoolyard bullying is a historic problem (and continues to be so) modern technology has increased the bullying problem by creating a new breed of the problem - the cyber bully.

Cyber bullying and physical bullying may differ in many ways, but the pain that they both cause is remarkably similar. The children who are able to overcome bullying are not necessarily the strongest kids on the block, but rather the ones with the parents who are best educated on the subject.

The following are vital, expert tips on how to help your child avoid getting bullied – and enrich their self-esteem in the process. These tips are not meant to solve the bullying problem, but instead give your child some education on how to handle these difficult situations.

Tips for protecting your kids from schoolyard bullies

Tip #1: Teach your child to use their words instead of their fists

Back in the old days, parents (especially fathers) used to tell their kids to fight back when threatened by a bully. We now know that strategy is not the most productive course of action. By using their words in the face of the predator, the child is refusing to reinforce the bullying behavior and therefore opening up a crack in the bully’s armor. This action will gain support from their peers, which will in turn weaken the bully’s resolve. For example, teach your child to say “I’m not afraid of you” when confronted by a bully. This will build their self-confidence as it erodes the confidence of the bully.

Tip #2: Role play with your kids

One of the most effective ways to teach your kids how to handle a bully is to role play a variety of different situations with them at home. Show them how to respond when someone is picking on them. Give them “lines” to read that will protect them and build their self-esteem at the same time. For example, when a bully says “I’m going to punch you if you don’t give me your lunch money” have your child rehearse responses such as “that’s not going to do you any good, it will just get you in big trouble eventually.” Educate them on whom to contact if they are bullied, for instance the school principal, teacher, or any other school staff. This will empower them and boost their self esteem when dealing with these issues.

Tips for protecting your kids from cyber bullying

Tip #1: Explain to them about the dangers of the Internet

Kids can be very trusting, especially when they are online. Sit down and explain to them the potential dangers of the Internet. Explain how, some people are not who they claim to be online, and just like in the real world, they should never agree to meet with a stranger or offer any information about themselves when online. Educating your child is crucial in preventing your child from cyber bullies, online predators, or any other person looking to harm your child.

Tip #2: Monitor their Internet time

Many parents have created “Internet Family Time” as a way to monitor their child’s Internet use while still giving them the freedom to use the computer for school work and communicating with their friends. Place the computer in a central location, for example the living room; this will allow you to regulate any websites they are browsing. Make this time fun, educative, and get the whole family involved. There is no reason that the parents can’t get involved in a good game of Chess or a crossword puzzle online. Refer to your helpful tips on how to monitor your child’s internet use for more information.

Tip #3: Block access to suspect web sites

One of the best ways to avoid cyber bullying is to help your child avoid the situation in the first place. By using some of the best-selling software programs available on the market, parents can block access to the most potentially dangerous sites on the web. You can easily “blacklist” all websites and instant messenger (IM) clients so that your child has no access. We recommend blocking popular social networking sites like Myspace.com and Friendster.com because they are most popular locations for cyber bullies. You should disallow access to any online chat rooms, forums, and other online social communities. In addition, you can give your child limited user rights when using the computer, this means disabling unnecessary applications, for example Yahoo Messenger, AIM, or Gtalk. This limited access also prevents installation of any new applications without your consent.

The Internet has provided a new method of communication for young people from all over the world. For most, online social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook are an opportunity to share feelings about music, movies, school and anything else that kids tend to talk about with one another when they congregate.

But as kids gain a greater mastery over the online tools at their disposal, more and more are using these technologically advanced sites, and major consumer software programs, for an insidious purpose – namely, cyberbullying.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying occurs when one or more individuals use the Internet to inflict psychological harm on another individual. This can occur in many forms, including: using social media techniques to spread hurtful or untrue information about another individual, creating fake identities and using them to manipulate others, posting unwanted photos of an individual, or doctoring photos of an individual using PhotoShop or other photo editing software programs.

The sad case of Megan Meier

Recently, cyberbullying made headlines when a 13-year old girl from Missouri named Megan Meier committed suicide in her bedroom inside her parent’s home. An investigation found that Megan’s death was likely caused due to stress over being the target of a cruel cyberbullying incident.

Megan developed a relationship on MySpace with an individual who she thought was a new boy in the area, but turned out to be a cabal of other individuals from the neighborhood, including adults such as Lori Drews (who’s 13-year old daughter was once friends with Megan, but had gotten into a fight with her) and an 18-year-old temporary office worker who worked for Drews.

The group created an elaborate hoax to make Megan believe that she had a burgeoning relationship with the boy. When the plot was revealed for all to see, Megan was unable to deal with the humiliation and took her own life.

The state of Missouri had no cyberbullying laws at the time of Megan’s suicide and was therefore unable to prosecute Lori Drews or any of the other parties involved. Federal prosecutors working in Los Angeles however, saw the case as a clear cut violation of the Consumer Fraud and Abuse Act and stepped in to bring Drews up on charges for violating the terms and conditions of her MySpace account. That case is currently pending.

Bullying and young girls

This sad case is unique in that it involved an adult at the helm who should have known better, but the act of bullying has been around as long as there have been children. And while many individuals associate bully-behavior with boys, some of the most devastating instances of bullying occur with girls. What makes girl-girl bullying so harmful is that the age in which it is most likely to occur, say twelve to eighteen years old, is the time in which young women-to-be are dealing with a number of challenging issues regarding their bodies and self-image. Exposing them to high levels of emotional stress, such as those coming from being the target of a cyberbullying incident, can yield unpredictable and often tragic results.

The ACLU gets involved

And this incident is far from over. Recently, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has become involved in the case, concerned that in their haste to bring someone to justice for Megan Meier’s tragic death, Federal prosecutors will be setting a bad precedent, and that the door will open to prosecute (or investigate) anyone who innocently violates the terms and conditions of the websites they use. Like the federal case against Lori Drews, this case is pending as well.

Cyber bullying in the News | Video Update

MURRIETA, CALIFORNIA — In an effort to protect children and teenagers online, Vanden Corporation, based in California and dedicated to youth safety is proud to introduce CyberBully Alert a ground-breaking software designed to help the thousands of young people who every day are the victim of the growing crime of cyberbullying.

CyberBully Alert is a web-based solution that simplifies the notification and documentation of cyberbullying. It allows children to instantly send alerts to their parents regarding potentially harmful online conversations and interactions the moment the bullying occurs. With a click of the mouse, parents are notified and the unwanted behavior is stored for future use with school officials, other parents or law enforcement authorities.

Easy-to-use and compatible with all major computers and web-browsers, CyberBully Alert requires only a quick download to get started. Once the simple registration process is complete, the program seamlessly becomes a part of the browser’s tool bar. Parents then enter emails and phone numbers for the adults who will receive the alert. Then, with a live Internet connection, the child can send an instant alert via email and/or text message by clicking on the CyberBully Alert icon.

“We believe that this software is going to have a significant impact in the cyberbullying incidents that have been growing over the past few years” says CyberBully Alert President John Vandenburgh. “With more and more of our children spending time on the Internet and on social networking sites at a younger age, this communication is more important than ever. It is the missing link between kids and concerned parents.”

More about CyberBully Alert

For more information about CyberBully Alert visit www.cyberbullyalert.com.
1-866-403-9484 Media Inquiries

More about cyberbullying

• 90% of middle school students have had their feelings hurt online.
• 75% have visited a Web site bashing another student.
• 40% have had their password(s) stolen and changed by a bully who then locked them out of their own account or sent communications posing as them.
• Only 15% of parents polled knew what cyber-bullying was.

SOURCE: wiredsafety.org